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Day one in the dryer

Day one in the dryer

I can't believe how cold it is in here.

Day one in the dryer

The gnomes have gone, but i am afraid they might come back.

Day one in the dryer

My Ipod died, so I can't listen to the Children of the World anymore.

Day on in the dryer

I hate the TomZone, I wish I'd never had this idea.

Day one in the dryer

Sore hungey!

Day one in the dryer

Fading fast...
I downloaded digital post it notes so that the Boys and I could stay connected in our busy lives. And yet they basically ignore it, and then they make fun of me when they7 do use it. The write things like "huuhu8." WTF is that? It makes me sore with the mad bug. So much that I sometimes don't think that I want us to be together anymore. This R.E.M. song that Ba-boy was listening to right now fits my mood pretty well. My words are in red.

I'll take the position   If I must
Assume the missionary part That's what she said! Tee hee!
You work by committee,   I work harder than a whole committee
You had me pegged from the start.  You think you have me all figured out, dontcha Omri?
I'll pounce pony,  What?!?!?! That's sore mean!
Phony maroney,  Tony Baloney.
Pony before the cart.
I'll pounce pony,
This ceremony
Only fills my heart.  That's right Skillet, I really was ready to try again, you stupid whore!

Who cast the final stone?   Everyone is against me all the time. They don't know what it's like behind blue eyes.
Who threw the crushing blow?  Why did the boys act as if i am better off dead.
Someone has to take the fall
Why not me?   Of course it's me. I am everyone's scapegoat, yes I mean you Lance.

A punch toy volunteer
A weakling on its knee. I can feel my knees getting weak.
Is all you want to hear
And all you want to see.  You don't care who gets hurt, as long as you get your story! All any of you bitches care about is the story that you can get. That's why you ran me off FB in the first place!
Romantically you'd martyr me Over and over again.
And miss this story's point     
It is my strength, my destiny     I will carry on, despite my enemies that wish to destroy me.
This is the role that I have chosen.   So be it then.

Who cast the final stone?
Who threw the crushing blow?
Someone has to take the fall
Why not me?
Why not me?   Why not me?

Gentlemen mark your opponents    Boys, it hurt me about the post it notes.
Fire into your own ranks.               But such callous boys will turn on each other. And I won't be here to stop you from destroying each other and youselves.
Pick the weakest as strategic      Gang up on me now, because I'm on the outside. Which one of you will it be when I am no longer here to attack?
Move. Square off. To meet your enemy.   It didn't have to be this way.
For each and every gathering
A scapegoat falls to climb.    
As I step forward, silently.
Deliberately mine     To quote another REM song, I will walk unafraid, into this horribly cold world that is not of my own making.

Who cast the final stone? 
Who threw the crushing blow?
Someone has to take the fall
Why not me? Why not me.
Had consequence chose differently   
Had fate its ugly head
My actions make me beautiful
And dignify the flesh  That's right Boys. (And "Charlotte") My actions, my commitment to my ideals of communication, love, openess, the gay house, and post it notes and their possiblities makes me the epitome of beauty and dignity. Fuck you you stupid ratt ass tard bitches. You are all fucking fakers and you should wallow in your own pit of filth and uncommunication. (sic?)

Me. I am free. Free.

You'll all miss me when I'm gone. Goodbye cruel world, I'll do it Ryan, I'll fucking do it.

Hee hee, I feel better. But you all are dead to me now. If that doesn't sit right, then you should do something about it. The ball is in your court now. I tried to communicate with all of you. And you all know who you are.

Also, I hope you can tell which ones are mine and which ones are Mikey's. (Mikey!) Both of us have a poetic way with words after all. Is that self-righteous? Well fuck you if it is. And fuck me too. I have been modest for 347 years, and where the f has it got me? Boys who don't care a flipping flute whistle about me? It's time for me to get mine now. I'm going to Broadway. 

Just add water, stir in lime. Keep chilled. Serves six to ten.

I don't sleep to dream.

Tom Foxer: Queen of all Media

Wonderful news, friends! Fantabulous frantashtical news!

My life is such a fucking trainwreck, the alternative press has actually stood up and taken notice, and now Penny Bongo (yes THAT Penny Bongell!!!) wants to have me on her show for an interview!! Can you believe this? When Jesus entombs you behind a brick wall in his basement, he really gives you a straw so you can suck air through a crack in the mortar. (That was Richard's... :/ ) Anywah, I'd best start preparing for the big event. I'm supposed to meet with Penny next week some time. Sore excited!!! If any ladies out there want to degrade themselves for the attention of a minor local celebrity, you can get at me on my Facebook page!!! (wink)

World Traveller blog 2 coming soon!!!

Have a good weekend, all!!!

Tom's Travel Blog #1

Greetings, Friends! Welcome to my seductive new life!

Now, that Jerome is in the Boys’ lives, and I’ve graciously agreed to bow out, and be banished to the closet with my good friend Ry-ie, I have a lot more free time to do whatever I want. But I can only eat about 6 hours a day, so I have been finding experimental new ways to spend my time. Such as hanging out with my beautiful first and only daughter, Jade. Yesterday, for example, we drove out to Doofusville to visit the goat farm. I brought my Polaroid i-Zone miniature instant camera ($18.99 on Amazon!) with me just in case the ol’ shutterbug bit. And let me just say, I have little red marks all over my limbs and torso, and I’m only half certain they’re from the poison oak pit we drove through. HAHAHAHAHAH...........ha...... Let’s look at some of the pics I took, shan’t we?

When we got to the goat farm, we were treated to a traditional goat greeting. NYAAAA!!! NYAAAAA!!!! I had never experienced this before, and at first I thought the goats were making fun of me. Especially the one that kept shouting “Fatass!!!!” After I’d punched my first goat in the face, the farmer told me that the goats were just being hospitable, but I’m not sure about this guy.

What a rude ‘tude!!! Can you believe that??? Back in the 586, where I’m from, they’d chop his head off and mount it in some thug’s basement, next to his empty Jaegermesiter bottles and “The Crow” collectible action figures. I was about to get my hateshorts out, when another one of those bearded freaks really got Jade’s goat!

OH NO!!!!

ahahaha..... I wasn’t laughing just now, you know. That’s just a typing exercise my doctor recommended to keep my fingers nimble. For all you know, I genuinely care about my progeny. It seems believable. Anywah, that old farmer said “Goats will be goats! Next time, don’t lower your 14-year-old daughter into their feeding pin while she flails her arms and kicks her legs and begs for you not to.” As if!!! Exactly what DID our forebears die for then??? So I told that damnable hick that I was pressing charges if he didn’t have that goat shot out of a cannon. We compromised by calling the pigs. The cops, that is. The goat cops. And here’s that contemptable goat’s mugshot. I think its the best I’ve seen since Lindsay Lohan’s 15th arrest.


The trial went smoothly for all. The judge, which was a fish for some reason, wanted to get on with more pressing matters. Some Asian Carp had been arraigned that same day. Here’s the punishment he came up with for that violent goat. I think it fits the crime PERFECTLY. It's like living poetry. Actually, I just found this picture on the Internet. That intrusive goat got off scot-free. But there's something vaguely proverbial about this image, don't you think Patrick? Yes, Patrick, I know you read this!!!!

So that was our trip to the goat farm. On the way home, we (Jade, the felonious goat , and I) stopped for dinner at Sonic, and got sick. Except the goat. They really can eat anything! It was a rich, full day. Next week, we’re off to Mt. Vesuvius... with a nice porcupine family we met along the way!

Toodles from the Worldtrekker and Daughter

OH NO!! I forgot to feed my livejournal for sore long! I thought it would be dead! Social networking sites feed off your sweet nourishing thoughts, you know! Its like a tapeworm in your brain, but virtual. Sore vampiric, sore SENSUAL.... Film directors are sensual too, ladies... Also, if you need it, I can give you a root canal. *wink*

Stop it! I can't waste time going on like this! Terriblah things are happening in my life again. Terriblah TERRIBLAH things! I know its hard to believe, but things actually suck worse now than ever. And looking back over my old posts, I have to blame Obama. My ex-boy Baracky; things really began to spiral after he got into power. So now I'm gonna spew some seriously fucked up attitude on your computer screen. And garnish with lime.

Or, I'd like to at least. Certainly, that's what the old Tom Foxer--ironically the young Tom Foxer--would have done. But I lost such fiery passion long ago. Only the last faintly reverberating echo of a great symphony now wanely resounds through the empty corridor of my thoughts. And in the antechamber to the right--across from the now-shuttered box office--a single lone flame precariously flickers atop a candle of waxy regret. Maybe its because I haven't slept in six days (I was trying to create my own world!), or perhaps it was the bowl of Valium and Jaegermeister I had for breakfast, but I just don't seem to have much energy today.


But, it doesn't matter now.... Soon, nothing will. I'm off to light some prayer candles, and there's enough liquor inside me to burn myself alive. Good! I'm sore sick of it all. I apologize for the uneven quality of this post, I really do. But you needn't worry; this is the last time my cracked fingernails will depress these keys and taint your precious LIVEJOURNAL with my subhuman filth. Just remember: You did this to me. All of you did. Everything is everyone's fault but mine! I only wanted to make the world sing again. And it shall sing: a dirge, as it performs the dance of death, and a cold, dark, ugly, weary planet spins off into its own entropy. And in death, I will laugh at you all, LAUGH the way you never let me laugh in life.

and so I bid you Adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow.


update of fear and stuff

Oh my gott!!!!! Big Bear pulled me from the case, and now I am no longer allowed to contact my boy boys. what am I going to do? I dont' know!!!! Please help!

Here's my contribution to the political discourse... little late, but oh so timely, sweetheart!

ReMeMbEr To VoTe, BiTcHeS!!!!

Me and Slater Sittin' in a Trah!!!

Hi BOYS! ... and girls.....
Did you all see me on the Doggy Pup News a few weeks back? Probably not since nobody visits that dumb site. I don't really mean that; its one of my FAVORITES! Still, sometimes, it MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!! They're always pushing those McChickens on everybody! That is just shameful! It's SO SHAMEFUL!!! 
I'm hungry. Anywah, here's a bit of news for you that those insipid dogs won't be covering. Fortunately, I'm on it like short-shorts on a hot cop! Mmmm.... shorts.....;J4L;5M34G90VVUI0934645NM6TLBJPFGI34-6I536M4GHMB;  45945-YI[BK;5Y64-6IO0-BV9D-V0BGI5^%&^*%^&$%&^%^*jnnk56UYJ4YJBM........
What? I must have dozed off while typing there! Um, yes... yes, I must have, yes...! Anywah, here's my BRAHKING NEWS! A.C. SLATER IS HOMELESS, BOYS! Yes, its true. It must be true. Don't believe me? Well, you have to see what he's doing for money these days! I saw it.. .boy, did I ever see it! Legally, you'd have to buy the latest issue of People Magazine to see the evidence of the dirty, dirty, (deep breath) DIRTY truth!  But of course you guys know me better. I'm your Big. And though I am a loyal, capitalist-loving citizen of seven or eight different countries around the world (Does Luxembourg count?), I'm going to ILLEGALLY post the pictures here for FRAH just to assuage the relentless demands of my own massive ego. Yes, Boys, I said assuage. Look it up on Wiktionary! Ho ho ho! Anywah, here are the pics.... oh, pass the hot sauce!
MARIO LOPEZ photo | Mario Lopez
...And now the piece de resistance!
Mario Lopez Pictures: Mario Lopez naked on a bear rug!!!
Oh my God! OH MY GOD! OH MY FUCKING GOD! OMFG!!!!!!!! That was soooooo hot! No, not HIM! 
I meant the hot sauce, you pervs! Ho ho ho! Listen to us! We're like an eighth grade girl's softball team in the dugout, aren't we? Anywah, could somebody pass the Pepto-Bismol? Let me tell you, though, Laverne: The ladies... and Lance... and Totally Travis... and maybe Richard.... not sure about Chad.... are going to be drooling for this beef cake! I don't care if he is riddled with VD (and he probably is!), have you ever seen dimples so finely chiseled into stone before? Me neither!
Well, I got to go! Me and the Boys are going to WHITE CASTLE! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!! Make sure to leave me comments! Much love!

Did you miss me?

 I really just cannot believe the audacity of some people. People whom I once considered my best friends. I put a lot of time and effort into always being in my boy-boys lives. Sometimes they couldn't admit that they wanted me around, but that was okay...because I was able to be the bigger man. (Get it, bigger? Like BIGGER BULL!!!!) Any-wah, I don't like how much they have been hanging out with Richard. Richard is an okay guy, and we had some wild times together a while back (having three Saturdays on Friday night and all that) but he's never been deep enough for meh. And now he's been hanging around MY BOYS! When I'm in Malaysia, building up my points to fight the forces of evil, what are those boy-boys doing? Hanging out with Richard!!!! I tried to get rid of him a couple times, but you know I didn't want to be mean. I would never try to hurt anyone's feelings. But last night was it!!! They went to Fourth meal without me!!! And they went with Richard of all people. Honestly, I am more hurt about that than about them not bringing me home a taco. If Richard was not already under the hood of Omri-boy's car, I'd be shoving him there. Even Scarlett couldn't hurt me like this...

I think that this may be unforgivable. 

And if I wasn't so lazy and comfortable these days, I really would remake Bigalania!!! All I need is some gasoline and motor oil to get me reving to go....I need to buy this though, because I'm not the emo baby they all think I am..

 I did find some interesting new outfits to wear over my boxers, now that the weather is warming up a little.


Spy Henry Lau Imperialism Detachable Worker Jeans

Vizeau Workout Steel 510 Long Sleeved Hooded Pullover

Narciso Body Suit BODIER

Arroyman Body Suit Tank Thong Back

and finally